A New Set of Wheels

I have been wanting a new set of wheels for some time and now Myrtle is a part of my life.  She is not what I was expecting, but she is shiny and nearly new.  I know she will be reliable and improve my quality of life when I need to use her.  You see, Myrtle is a wheelchair and I finally have had to admit defeat and bring her into my world.

I have a condition called Fibromyalgia which causes  muscle, tendon and ligament pain along with severe fatigue. It has been 7 years since I was diagnosed with this condition and I am lucky as it comes and goes.  It wasn't that long ago that the diagnosis did not exist as doctors said it was all in the mind.  There is no cure or magic medication available.  Most sufferers manage the condition through exercise, rest and stress reduction. The cause is unknown, but mine appeared after severely tearing an abdominal muscle which required weeks of bed rest.  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fibromyalgia/DS00079

Most of the time I am fine and have the odd reminder  I have fibromyalgia, which I manage very well.  Some people suffer so badly they are unable to work or enjoy the normal activities most people undertake.  Occasionally my condition will flare and I am unable to get out of bed and sleep for hours at a time.  Luckily these flares have been few and 12-18 months can pass before the next one.  However, in the past month I have been unable to throw off the latest flare successfully.  When it gets bad I sometimes have no warning and it is almost as if someone has flicked a switch changing me from a functioning person to someone who can barely stay conscious long enough to know what is going on around her.  I have no energy and the effort to get out of bed is very nearly beyond me.  The fatigue is severe, parts of my body go numb while other parts are in pain.  Talking is difficult and I sometimes cannot find the right words.  There are numerous systems associated with the condition, so recently I printed out a symptom list (it is a very long one)and highlighted those I could identify with.  Sufferers don't always exhibit every symptom and for some the pain may be worse than the fatigue. It was a useful exercise as I was beginning to feel I was losing my mind.  Now I know what I am experiencing it not abnormal for the condition.

In my case the overwhelming fatigue is hugely frustrating..  My limbs feel like they don't belong to me and my legs stop working. Sometimes I try concentrating on the idea of moving one leg in front of the other, but the exercise is pointless.  Now and again the idea of acquiring a wheelchair has been discussed, but pride and embarrassment have prevented it becoming a reality.  A couple of times in the past I have had to use the wheelchairs provided in shopping malls when my legs have decided to give up working mid-way  through shopping, and I am reduced to a painful shuffle.

Myrtle has given me more freedom and some control over my life.  When the fatigue has decreased, but I am still not back to normal activity levels I am able to venture out of the house with her aid.  It means I can go to the mall or take part in other activities that would normally require being on my feet for long periods of time.  I am still  embarrassed when using Myrtle, but I am learning to live with her.  Only a handful of people know about her existence at this point and time.  However, I bumped into a work colleague yesterday, so I imagine she will happily share Myrtle's existence with others once she returns to work next week.  People react in different ways when they encounter wheelchairs, but that is another story.  So, Myrtle welcome to my life and although you are there for me I hope the times I have to use you are few and far between.