Love

A little word that carries so much power, has many uses and different meanings.  It has the power to make us miserable, but also the power to evoke the greatest pleasure.  At times we use the word, love, loosely.  For example, I tell people I love reading.  Not that I like reading, but that I love it.  This  demonstrates the passion I feel when it comes to the written word. 

When it comes to people I do not use the term loosely.  I like many people, but I love only a few.  However, the love I feel for each individual differs according to their relationship with me.  My love for my mother and sisters is very different from the love I feel for my partner and daughters.  Then again the love I feel for my daughters is different from the love I feel for their father.  Maybe one of the good things about loving different people is understanding the love can be different, but just as beautiful.  I remember the worry I felt when expecting my second daughter terrified that I would not love her as much as my first child.  My love for daughter 1 seemed so big and perfect that surely I wouldn't have enough love for another child.  I did.  Love taught me that I had more than enough to go around and that I would love each daughter for who they were.  My fears of loving one more than the other were nullified.

Love means different things to different people.  Even our partners will experience love in a different way to that which we expect.  We all have different love styles, so our experience of "being in love" must differ.  For some love is based on strong sexual feelings - lots of passion and intensity.  Others take a more pragmatic view of love especially when selecting a suitable mate - a decision which requires careful consideration.  What about those who experience love as being out of control -they fall in love quickly, are impulsive and make rash decisions.  Then there are those who see love as selfless and have an overwhelming desire to take care of their partner.  Those who experience love as a game use manipulation to control their partner. Finally there are those who approach cautiously getting to know someone over time before experiencing love.  Most people will experience a blend of these styles which explains why our views on love will differ.

Given these differences in love styles it is important  to discuss a variety of topics before committing to a relationship. These topics can include such things as money and finance, careers, division of household responsibilities, children, relations with others and sex. Being in love is not enough to keep a relationship going.  It is the base for a successful relationship, but there are emotional and life skills that are necessary for a healthy marriage. Communication being one of the most important.  We need to be able to be honest in our communication and able to communicate in good times and bad.  We need to be able to show our partner our appreciation for the things they do for us.  We need to spend time together.  Even if it means scheduling this.  We need to know how our partner wants to be loved and show our love in ways they will feel loved. 

"I love you" can be so easy to say, but it is our actions behind these words that matter.  Love does not conquer all, but our actions do.  All of us want to be loved, but first we need to love ourselves.  If we don't we will never feel worthy of any one's love.  And what can be a better feeling than that of being loved and of loving another.