The Festive Season

Christmas Day is nearly here and I have yet to start shopping for gifts.  I visited a mall the other day and the sound of Christmas music brought tears to my eyes.  So many exhausted people in Christchurch and I am one of them.  People are tired and their tolerance levels low.  It has been a long hard year and the new year promises very little. More than anything else I am looking forward to taking leave from work with the hope of recharging the batteries over the holiday period.

I do like Christmas and the opportunity to enjoy time with my family.  The Christmas tree is up and beautifully decorated by my youngest daughter.  At night I sit there watching the lights and thinking of the many wonderful Christmas days I have spent with family and friends.  There have been some difficult ones, for example,  like the first Christmas after my father died when I was still in my teens, when my husband was made redundant and money was scarce and of course last Christmas after the September earthquake.  Gladly for me my Christmas memories are mainly of wonderful days from my childhood and those experienced with my husband and daughters.

At the moment both daughters are living at home, so I am looking forward to sharing the morning with them.  The older daughter asked if we were having a Christmas breakfast this year which is a tradition we started when they were young.  To be honest I don't feel very enthused at the moment, but I will do it and know it will be fun.  Even though the girls are older there is still the excitement of everyone sitting around the tree (lights on), Christmas music in the background and watching each others expressions as each gift is opened and admired.

This year we will be going to my mother's house for an evening meal to celebrate the day as this will possibly be her last Christmas in the house I grew up in.  As a result of the earthquake my mother now resides in the red zone which means her house will be demolished as the land damage is too uneconomic to repair.  There will be some sadness, but it will be a time to remember the good times and the love the house represents for my family.

Christmas for me is about cherishing my family particularly my husband and daughters.  Preparing food on Christmas Eve for the following day (apparently my trifle is to die for). The last minute rush on Christmas Eve to wrap those last minute presents.  Filling the Christmas stockings for the girls (they still ask for them every year) with lots of sugary delights.  Waking on Christmas morning (thankfully not so early these days) and putting on a Christmas CD before the ritual of opening the presents.  Then  breakfast which is usually about too much food ( and perhaps the first glass of bubbles) and the day has only just begun.  Later gathering with family and more food, more bubbles, lots of smiles and love.

As I write this I am now smiling, so maybe there is a spark of the Christmas spirit lurking in me and the gift shopping will get done after all. I came across the following which might be just what I need:

Christmas Cheer Recipe

Combine loads of good wishes, heart fulls  of love and arm fulls of hugs.  Sprinkle with laughter and garnish with mistletoe. Top off with presents.  Serves everyone.

At this Christmas Season we remember and honour those who are no longer with us and cherish those who are.

 May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope: The spirit of Christmas which is peace: the heart of Christmas which is love.

Merry Christmas.

 

The Snow Dance

It snowed and made us forget, for a time, how much our lives have been changed by the earthquakes.  Instead we watched our world change to a winter wonderland and our city became pretty once again.  The curtains stayed open as we watched the "fluffies", as my daughter called the snowflakes, drift to the ground.  Later that night when the fluffies appeared to have stopped this same daughter performed a snow dance and the weather god heard her.  Fluffies continued to fall throughout the night and into the next day.  The city came to a standstill and people were encouraged to stay home for the day.

The fluffies created a deep blanket of snow which covered the broken roads, broken homes and buildings and broken parks turning the scenery into a beautiful landscape.  Snowmen, huts, ramps and other snow creations quickly became part of this new landscape.  Families played in the snow, laughing and forgetting the cold.  The streets were quiet as there was no traffic, so roads became playgrounds for those adventurous enough to go outside.  Some stayed inside appreciating the serenity and beauty of the snowflakes as they fell to the ground.

I went sliding down our driveway on a boogie board and heard the child within me giggling at the fun of it.  I went for a walk and it became an adventure when the snow fell heavily and the wind roared through the trees.  Suddenly we were having to seek shelter and discussed digging a snow cave for the night.  In the park it was easy to forget the ugliness the earthquakes had left behind as the pristine whiteness of the snow swallowed up the scars.  Turning back to go home, though, there were the reminders that all is still not well in our world - the lonely portaloo, the silent digger at the side of the road and the cones outlining the roadworks under the snow.

But for a brief moment of time we could escape from the reality of our world, have some fun and laugh together.  Thank you, my daughter, for your snow dance.

It's been a while

Months in fact since I last posted.  A couple of major earthquakes keep you occupied in other areas of your life and suddenly your blog is not so important.

September 4th now seems like a dress rehearsal for the main event on February 22.  With the first quake I didn't lose power and only lost water for a couple of days.  There was damage to the house with the foundations being the major problem, but it all seemed so fixable then.  My family did all end up here in the early hours of morning, but were able to return to their homes that day.  Some didn't have power or water for a few days, but coped well. The shake itself was scary, but didn't compare to the one we felt in February.  I remember the curiousity about the damage in our area and going for a long walk the following day to have a look.  There were many aftershocks and I do remember feeling as if I was on a boat that was constantly moving.  It was a few days before we could return to work, but not weeks.  My workplace moved, but not as a result of the quake.  We had been about to move anyway.  Careful planning had been done to organise a move over a 2 week period, but problems with our landlord resulted in move that took about 17 hours.  The silver lining - our new workplace meant our feet were firmly on the ground.

The months that followed were not too disruptive to our lives and as we moved into summer life pretty much returned to normal.  Then came the main event in February.  We were all prepared for another large aftershock and all had become experts in the magnitude and depths of the aftershocks.  What we didn't anticipate was how close to the city February's quake would be.  In our heads we were all thinking it would occur along the original Greendale Fault.  Big mistake.

Personally I coped well after September, but February was a different story.  Suddenly I was the one needing support and that was hard, especially when it didn't seem to be there.  My team leader was in  a hurry to get us back to work, but I was in no hurry to go back.  I wanted my family around me where I could keep an eye on them.  The power came on within a few days, but water was another story.  Luckily we had been prepared for both events by having a disaster kit.  By February this kit was improved as my clever sister made sure we all received extra items as Christmas gifts.  Late January I had refreshed our water supplies, so we had a good supply to get us through the days before the water tanks were dispersed around the badly affected suburbs.

A long drop was dug down the back of our property and showering became a thing of the past.  Water had to be boiled and hand washing clothes was suddenly back in.  Eventually we got our water back on after a couple of weeks, but then it was turned off while we waited for emergency repairs to our cylinder and mains.  My first shower came courtesy of my daughter and I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  Eventually we stopped sleeping, fully dressed,  on our mattress in the lounge and moved back to our bedroom, but not alone.  Our daughter came with us.

The house has severe structural damage and the foundations have blown, particularly in the front of the house.  A wall in my daughter's room has been braced to keep it in place, but we do not use those rooms at the front of the house anymore. 

Thinking about February 22nd is hard and I tend to become emotional when talking about it.  People died that day.  I thought I was going to die.  I am lucky.  I still have my family.  We are all shattered in some way, but we are alive.  My youngest sister and her husband were made redundant as a result of the quake, but they are alive.  My twin sister and her husband have lost their business (landlords need to make sure they are fully covered), but they are alive.  My husband now works in Kaiapoi, but he is alive.  My eldest daughter is now unemployed, but she is alive.  My youngest daughter now has to catch 3 buses to get to her job in Heathcote, but she is alive.  My mother had to live with one of my sisters for nearly 3 months, but she is alive.  Yes, I am lucky.

Life is not normal anymore, but a new normal is developing.  I don't much like it, but I have no choice and need to come to terms with it.  My broken house lies in a broken city and it makes me very sad.  I hurt.  I hurt for the life I once had, I hurt for the people that no longer have their homes, I hurt for the families that lost loved ones, I hurt for my city which was once so beautiful.  I hurt so much for this city of mine and wish I could turn back time for everyone.